Babies: The Best People

When you ask someone why they decided to become a nurse, you probably expect them to say certain things. Things like: "I care about people".... "It's steady work and pays halfway decent"...."Nurses are always going to be needed", and even "Well, somebody has to do it."

When I get asked, I usually give some sort of version of all of those reasons.

I have found that when people discover I am a NICU nurse, their questions become more specific. In fact, their whole demeanor changes to something bordering on captivation. With wide eyes, they ask things like: "Oh my God, how do you do that?" and "Isn't it sad?" and "How can you stand to see all those babies suffering?" I answer those questions as best I can. How do I do that? Well, I just do it. Is it sad? Hell, yes, it can be horrifyingly sad, but it can also be very happy. How can I stand to see the babies suffer? Well, it's a difficult thing to see, but I try my best to relieve them of that suffering. I can't count how many times those answers have been followed by the compliment, "Wow, you must be a special person."

Well, I don't know about that. It certainly takes a strong stomach and the ability to do your job well despite how emotionally exhausting it can be. However, one of the main reasons I am a NICU nurse is simply this: I love babies.

Many people love babies so there's really nothing original about that. Still, I want to delve into explanation. I'm sure many people share my reasons, whether they've ever really tried to put words to their feelings or not.

Babies are the best kind of people. I find them delightfully simple and yet fascinating. It's not just that they are the epitome of innocence and purity. It is also because their basic human needs are so utterly direct. They never exaggerate or under-emphasize anything. They don't play mind games or work under a passive-aggressive agenda. I'm only half-joking when I say how awesome it is that they can't talk back and be snotty like older kids and adults. Babies don't have to resort to that vindictive bullshit. They play on our instincts to get their point across. The lines of communication with them are always live with clear, consistent signals. For the most part, you just have to be willing and able to listen to them.

This little baby is alert and possibly ready for some cuddles!

The way I see it, babies are often somewhat set aside from the rest of the world. They aren't seen as "subhuman", but almost like a "subset" of humanity. Like, they are "pre-human" or something. Most people instinctively find themselves feeling protective and nurturing toward babies, so we do what is expected of us as adults when it comes to raising them. Of course there's the basics: food, shelter, love, protection. Then there's the ancillary activities that come along with those. We speculate about how they're going to be when they grow up. We watch their milestones and analyze their every move. We make plans for their futures. The baby stage seems to slip by so fast. As parents, many of us start preparing for these things before the baby is even born, which is good! But babies also need to be enjoyed in their current state. Even if we are truly taking the time to enjoy them as they are, we still are always preparing them for something. For the "start-up" of the rhythm of life. For me, my job is to eventually get them to that "start-up" point. To the "baby" point they're supposed to be at but can't be at because something went wrong and they got sick. Illness can happen to people of all ages, but when it happens to babies, it places them in a strange type of limbo. They haven't even gotten into the earliest rhythm of life and they are already taking a detour.

Let's face it. There is really nothing natural about  medical care. It is one of the things that we, as humans, came up with to ensure the continuance of our species. Medical care is often a beautiful, necessary thing and I'm thankful for the discoveries and advancements that diagnose, treat and cure people every day. But medical care does nothing for the "people side" of us. It is a hollow activity if we let it be. Sadly, sometimes that's all it can be. When a baby is critically ill, many developmental needs have to be ignored. There's no playing, no touching, no thinking about anything else about the baby if it doesn't concern their medical situation. Our only goal as professionals is keep the baby alive until they recover or are deemed unable to survive. If it comes to that, it's just about being merciful and palliative.

This premature baby is in no shape for interaction. The best thing to do is make sure he is positioned comfortably and receiving pain and sedation medications, if needed.

When I am at work, one of my main goals is to provide equilibrium to my small patients. To me, that initially means as little pain and stress as possible. If a patient has recently had surgery or has a pain-inductive condition, I watch them carefully for signs of discomfort. Sometimes, it is blatantly obvious--crying and thrashing about are dead giveaways of pain. Sometimes, though, it is more implicit due to the baby's weak state. Things like a facial grimace, tense muscles, a rapid pulse rate or high blood pressure often means pain or agitation. I give pain and sedation medications as needed, try to reduce the amount of noise and activity around the baby, and continue to assess them. I can often tell when a baby feels sick or is falling victim to infection. A change in behavior, glossy eyes, a low groan in their throat. Antibiotics can help with infections, and help return babies to a neutral state. As they recover, and when they are ready, I gradually incorporate developmentally appropriate activities. Holding, cuddling, talking softly, and even introducing toys. After being so sick, these things often have to be introduced slowly to prevent stress in the baby.

This baby is not as critically ill and appears to be receptive for some sort of positive interaction; it is important to watch for these cues.

When stable enough, light touch can be introduced.

This baby can barely be seen through all of this medical equipment. This baby is on maximum life support, heavily sedated, and should be touched as little as possible.

There is nothing as satisfying as seeing a baby through their medical ordeal and then being able to do normal "baby stuff" with them. For example, I always try to make time to cuddle with my patients that "ask" for cuddling. There is nothing like picking up a baby and having him or her just melt into your chest with contentment and relief. I love getting them to that state where their true basic baby needs come first. When they can clearly indicate what they want with a certain "style" of cry or facial expression. They can tell you they're hungry, bored, dirty, tired or uncomfortable. Yes, occasionally there are babies that I can't quite "figure" out, that seem to cry no matter what I do. Frankly, that's pretty unusual. I have been taking care of infants for over 12 years now and, like most seasoned NICU nurses, I have grown pretty adept at "reading" them.

So, there it is. A long explanation for why I am a NICU nurse. Babies are simply the best people. Not that adults aren't good; they have just lost that simple idyllic nature. It is an expected response to growing up. With babies, though, every want and need, every enjoyable thing is in its most sheer, pristine form. Like, a hug is purely for comfort and reassurance. If only we as adults could be soothed and all of our problems alleviated with just a hug! Perhaps one of the best things about babies, though, are their smiles. A smile of pure joy and appreciation for the interaction you are having with them is simply divine. Babies are the only people we can smile at without having to worry about any kind of pretext or misinterpretation. Smile at an adult, and they may think you are flirting with them even when you are not. Or they may think that you are trying to hide something, or you are just acting out of obligatory politeness, or maybe you are  just one of those weird people that smiles at everyone just because you are friendly. The point is, adults are trained to be skeptical. When it comes to smiles, only babies truly recognize the simple purity and joy buried deep within the adult soul of each of us.